Great Cyclists Exist!

After two weeks of nothing but shit on the road, today I come across this chick. She followed rules of the road to the T and almost inspired a tear of joy as I rode behind her. Of course, she is the exception to the idiot rule:

Predictably, right behind Super Chick came this wobbly, crotchet-helmet wearing urban flailer;

Impromptu Idiocy

Out for coffee today and caught this act of road idiocy in motion. Driver was turning right on a green, cutting off pedestrians and the cyclist was trying to swerve around her against a red light. The Asian woman driving the car had a licence plate that read "BAKA- ***". Incidentally, the word BAKA in Japanese means STUPID. I think she may have grazed the dude cuz he stood in front of the car for a long time looking at his leg. Either way, they both seemed to be in the wrong*.

*All persons described on this blog should be considered innocent unless proven guilty before a court of law.

Preachy Bastard

Problem: Oil prices up. Gas prices up. Manufacturing jobs being lost at a ridiculous rate. Sedentary, fat lifestyle killing Canadians.

Solution: Outlaw fossil fuel burning vehicles. Force flagging giant auto corps to spend their last few pennies on building hydrogen powered vehicles. Subsidize the purchase of bicycles.

Outcome: Keep jobs. Create new industries. Reduce heart disease and other sedentary lifestyle, fat-related illnesses. Reduce lung disease aggravated/caused by burning fossil fuels. Save money on health care.

This was my bike as it pulled into its underground parking lot today. Sweet:

This was the view from my bike as it chugged along TO streets this am- free from gridlock:

Inaugural Idiot Exposure

Road Idiot Report, Wed, June 2

Road Idiot #1: Tallish blonde female. Stylish/Good looking. Wearing white blouse and a long, flowing black skirt.
Where: Davenport and New Street, just north of Bay going East.
Vehicle: Yellow road bike.
Offense: Ran straight through a red light at high speed at busy intersection, then continued south on Bay.

Road Idiot #2: Average height female. Black tights/black shirt.
Where: Davenport and Huron Street, going East.
Vehicle: Bicycle with a rear child seat.
Offense: Rode through a stop sign as approaching car in oncoming lane was legally turning left. Car swerved to avoid her and she kept on truckin'.

Road Idiot #3: Male, well groomed. Pudgy, tanned face and smooth head.
Where: Davenport and Bathurst, going East.
Vehicle: White, high end SUV.
Offense: Veered right in to a designated bike lane to get a jump on traffic. Came inches from hitting me as I rode east on Davenport. I stopped in front of him, pointed at the road and yelled "This is a bike lane you idiot!".

If you know people who fit these descriptions please let them know that they could have seriously hurt someone today, including themselves.

Check out the Davenport area HERE.

Welcome to the World of Road Idiots.

Hey kiddies- I know, I know. It's been a helluva long time. Been very busy with the many and varied public and private pursuits of your average neo-post-modern cave boy.

I once thought nothing could ever pull me back to the underworld of the blogging dead, until recently. The rage and fear involved in daily cycling on the mean streets of Toronto have inspired me to provide a sort of public service. Too many ingorant jackasses driving bikes, cars, SUVs and yes, even TTC vehicles, put our precious lives in danger every day. And if I can expose their foolishness, so someone who knows them or they themselves read about it, that may help stop further danger by basting them in their own shame. My vain hope is to be able to save a life, or at least another clenched K-fist shaken in near-death anger at some passing wheeled ignoramus!

I will be publishing descriptions of road idiots from all over our great city right here on this blog. If I have the licence plate number of a road idiot, it will appear here. If I can provide a description that might help people identify you and your flagrant road idiocy, I will publish it here. I might even take your picture and post it remotely.

I invite you all to share your stories here. Please join in me publicly shaming people who put other people's lives in mortal danger due to their own selfishness, stupidity and haste.

First post will be up tonight or tomorrow am.